Woww..seems like yesterday I knew you and we became friends.Its been four months already huhh..Gosh..has it been that long already. I miss you so badly. It hurts..I've told you this before though. But....Hmm..you said you will..try..hmm..
My day wasn't that good. I had three back to back dreams which weren't that good. Dreams that was the total opposite motivation I needed for the moment. Am i doing the right thing?? Having a relationship in the midst of my journey to the road towards my dreams. Momma always said don't let this things distract you from your studies, don't let yourself be stressful all the time, this is your first time so don't get too deep, never say those three poisonous words, boys words are always sweet, never put yourself down, ahhhhhhh there's just too much too list down. Trust me if I say I didn't feel any of these....then I'm exactly telling a big fat lie.
Its just too late ain't it. I let myself indulge on all the words spoken. Fallen, sweetened, warmed, trusted, spoken, and here I am. Like a sunken ship I would say. Its okay. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Confusions are just streaming all over my mind. I wish I could be much stronger. The people around me seemed so much stronger, smarter, luckier, and way better than me. That was definitely what I felt exactly 24 hours ago. That ain't what I feel anymore though. And fear is constantly prickling through my mind that I would be going through the exact same things my best friends are going through right now. My close friend tells me I won't. But....will......can it possibly be that way..I wish not. For I can never imagine myself going through all of that.
So, I came up with a decision. No I will be strong. Yupp.. thats what I tell myself not as a consolation to my worries for the moment, but because I simply believe that that would be the right thing to do. Will it happen as what I expect?? Even I don't know that. But, since I was young I've always known that we should never worry about the future, for it is best left in His hands. So, in his hands I leave all my hopes and most definitely my future. I hope He'll always cradle me in His arms just as I wanna promise that I will not let Him down. Yeahh..
Typing again soon..For now, I'm just gonna listen to CB's song n doze off..hehe..Bye
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